Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Těžko říct, je mi líto

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day to everyone.

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word"

Nope, it’s not about that song, I am just quoting the above mentioned lyric, and just that.
Some people find this very agreeable, while I used to think differently.

I mean, what’s so hard about asking for forgiveness? I used to think that people who refuse to apologize are selfish people, and why would people want to be selfish and willing to take the pain of arguing back and forth when they can simply end it by saying “I’m sorry”, "Je mi lito", “It’s my fault” etc (you can add them up as you wish, the apology words I mean)

But, little did I know that I was partly wrong (and partly right), which goes down to :
1.       Asking for forgiveness is indeed hard.
2.       People who refuse to apologize are extremely selfish people, and that selfish people are willing to have endless arguments, just to prove that they are right and others are wrong.

It never occurred to me that the song by Elton John and (insertthegrouphere) [eden terlupa pulak, BLUE? Ade ke? CN BLUE memang ade. BLUE? Erm..] actually directed to those who are close to each other, I mean REALLY close.
Tapi kan, sebenarnya memang that song meant to be that way, tapi tu la, being the ignorant me, I just take the song at face value. (plus the only line and tune I know from that song is just “sorry seems to be the hardest word). *gelengkepala*

Okay, what I’ve been trying to say is, we find it really hard to say SORRY (and in addition, THANK YOU) to those people who are close to us, be it family or friends. Why? Here goes my explanation.

It is hard for us to apologize to family and friends after we did wrong because we don’t feel that we need to. Because, well, they are our family and friends, they are CLOSE to us, they KNOW US WELL. So if we did wrong, it is given that they will forgive us, right? So, why should we bother to apologize? 

It is hard for us to thank our family and friends after we receive help or something from them because we don’t feel that we need to. Because (again) they are our family and friends, they are CLOSE to us. It is given that they should help us when we are in need. So, why should we bother to thank them?

Note the bold words. That’s how we people become selfish; selfish people who take things for granted, not appreciating things we have. Because we always justify that things should be our ways because we deserve it.

People, be nice to your family, and be nice to your close ones. They are all we’ve got.
Try to be the ones to apologize first because you won’t lose anything. Instead you will gain more love and respect.
Don’t forget to be thankful to those people around you, because you won’t lose anything. Instead you will gain more love and respect.
Think how magical those words are in mending our relationship with people around us.

Actually this realization hit me after I myself got into conflict with somebody close to me. Aha, no detail of course, but it is fair to say that I’m trying to improve myself. *senyumdenganmatapandangkirikanan*

Dan sebetulnya, tak guna kalau kita beria-ia minta maaf dan berterima kasih dengan orang luar, kalau orang yang dekat dengan kita tak dilayan sebaik itu. Tak adil kan? 
(Betul, betul, betul – Ipin)

This is Diyana reminding you (and myself); just in case you (and I) forgot.

Sabda Rasulullah SAW yang bermaksud:
“Orang yang paling baik di kalangan kamu ialah orang yang paling baik (pergaulannya) dengan ahli keluarga dan aku adalah yang terbaik dari kalangan kamu dalam pergaulan dengan ahli keluargaku.”
(Ibnu Majah dan Ibnu Hibban).

It’s late, I know, but,

And I miss the 9 girls dearly.
And I miss ex-occupants of Vyšehrad.
And I miss the girls in Apt 4 and 10.
지지 언니,당신을보고 싶어요.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I'll be there

Dearest laling, you know who you are.
And yes, I'm re-dedicating this song for you and others.
And I mean it.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Na Shledanou, NOT..

I’m writing this for those people whom I’ll leave, whom I dreamed off in my sleep last night, and shed my tears for.

I’m writing this to tell them and myself, that I am okay, and I will always try to be okay; that they are okay, and will always be.

I’m writing this to remind them and myself, that although we are separated across the globe, we are still on the same place; that although we stand on different soils, our hearts remain together.

I’m writing this to tell them, that 5 years is a long time, yet it feels so short; that life taught me lots of things about myself and about them, but it feels like I learned so little.

I'm writing this to tell them, that I am thankful for everything, for all the things they have done for me, but the thing that I'm thankful the most is THEM, because they are the best thing ever happened in my life.

They shared a fair portion of my youth, a fair portion of my adolescence, and I shared theirs too.
They are the secret holders of mine, and the ones who know me inside and out.
They watched my growth, and I watched them grow.

At this last moment of being together, I would like to apologize to them for everything, and I forgive them for everything.

I will remember them, and will miss them dearly.

Do not say goodbye, because goodbye kills the hope of meeting again.
And who knows? We may meet again.
Say it. 

Saturday, June 30, 2012

emirates, tanah melayu and me

I bought the ticket yesterday.
I'm going back to tanah melayu tomorrow.

After went hunting high and low for ticket 
(even considered helsinki, seoul, beijing and hong kong as transit),
akhirnya ada jugak tiket emirates 
(the regular ones with transit in dubai)

The confirmation email 
(bragging here, because I'm a brat at heart)

Bukan sedikit orang cakap how fortunate i am to get the ticket for 800 euro in this peak season.
True, there could be a silver lining in my (dark?) cloud.

I was contemplating whether nak balik atau tak, and i said to kak alia that i'm scared my decision to go home for a while is not the right choice at the moment.
But kata-kata kak alia (as usual), left me with overwhelming feelings :
"Allah mudahkan awak untuk dapatkan tiket, Diyana, dengan harga yang murah pulak tu. Sedang kawan-kawan awak duk struggle cari tiket. It could only means that keputusan awak untuk balik tu adalah keputusan yang betul." 

I had a sharing session with kak alia (and few friends), and this video really pings my heart. Motivation for all hearts!

"Accept Allah as your Master, and accept yourself as a Slave" 
The second part is always the hardest one.

To Zizi 언니,  감사합니다  for the message. 
나도 사랑해요 =)

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

pain is a part of growing up

"Gagal sekali, bukan bermakna gagal selama-lamanya"
Ever heard of that?
It WAS my favourite quote (when I WAS back in school)
Ahh.. The innocence of childhood and teenhood.
I was too young, too idealistic back then, or perhaps, too optimistic(?)
Sebab? Jarang menghadapi kegagalan.
"Gagal sekali, bukan bermakna gagal selama-lamanya"
Kalau gagal berkali-kali? Macam mana?
Won't it be the sign that the thing I'm doing and working for right now is never meant to be my fate?
That perhaps I chose the wrong path?
That perhaps I should stop?
Perhaps I should turn my way back?

Baik, kenapa entri Cik Diyana sangat-sangat negatif pada kali ini?
Bad news, peeps.
I failed.
I know, it's not the end of the world yet.
Sangat tahu. Sangat faham.
Sebab ini bukan perkara biasa bila belajar di sini.
Semua orang rasa benda yang sama.
In fact.
I feel nothing right now.
Mental and emotional numbness.
Disebabkan dah terlalu banyak menghadapi mehnah & cabaran sedemikian rupa, dah tak tahu nak rasa apa.
As if my feelings have been drained out of myself.
I was too calm when I accepted the failure. As if I lost hope.
No tears at all, just a lifeless sigh.
I was emotionally numbed, till I saw that tears.
My dear friend's tears when she learns about my failure.
I was emotionally numbed, till I heard her voice talking to me.
My dear sister's tone when she learns about my failure.
It made me realized that at this faraway land, I should be thankful that I have these precious people to be my crutches and pillars.
Jazakillah Sab, sebab menangis untuk kami.
Jazakillah Kak Alia, kerana kata-kata akak sentiasa menenangkan saya, dan mengingatkan betapa sebenarnya saya kuat kerana dipilih untuk diuji.
Jazakumullah semua, kerana sentiasa berada di sisi. 
Terkadang rasa kalian lebih dekat dari keluarga sendiri. 
Kalian sebahagian daripada saya, 
dan saya sebahagian daripada kalian.

These words are for my present and future self 
(should my future self encounter the same thing again)
Dearest self, these were the things you asked. 
Now listen to the answers.
Kalau gagal berkali-kali? Macam mana?
Won't it be the sign that the thing I'm doing and working for right now is never meant to be my fate?
Says who? Lot's of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Would you like to be those people? 
Persevere just a bit.
That perhaps I chose the wrong path?
When Allah made you choose something, He is with you, and He will always be with you along the way, as long as you believe in Him. 
Him being always with you, what more could you ask for?
That perhaps I should stop?
Yes, you should stop once in a while. Take a breather. 
Perhaps I should turn my way back?
Yes, do turn around. But don't walk back. 
Just turn around. 
And reflect.

p/s 1 : Yikes. My future self might be embarrassed to read this entry again. This post might get deleted anytime. It is written when I was overwhelmed with emotion.
p/s 2 : Called mak today. Told her that perhaps I'm coming home before taking the next exam, and she asked, "bile akak nak balik? esok?" 
[Myself, "uh-oh,makbuatlawak" (dalam hati)], 
and I answered her, "Mak, orang balik ni bukan naik bas transnasional boleh beli tiket balik esok terus," 
Mak gelak =), Sab yang tengah mendengar pun gelak sama. 

Monday, June 18, 2012

doa + matlamat (short, intermediate & long term) Part 1

First of all, pardon me for any inappropriateness that might come out from my poor usage of English (grammar, vocabulary & context wise). I'm known as a terrible grammar-butcher.
Secondly, as I write this post, it might evolve from being an intelligent post to something meaningless, but I sincerely hope that it could make you (or at least, me) to think and contemplate about an essence called LIFE.
Thirdly, As some of my readers know, I'm the type of person who makes lengthy post. So I'll try to make it in few parts to tackle this issue.. (eceh, bunyi macam penganalisis politik pulak.. Ooppss bahaya2, tukar2, penganalisis ekonomi.. =p) This is partly due to the encouragement of my "knighted brother" (mentor mentee yg sama time SBPIP dulu.. Yep Syam, i'm talking bout you), who told me to revive this dying blog.
Lastly, as some of my friends (and readers) know, I'm the type of person who does things on impulse; if something piqued my curiousity, I'll immediately take interest, but I'm also the type of person who gets discouraged easily. So, depending on response on this post, I'll decide whether to talk more about this issue in the next parts or not. (warghh.. delusional kah aku? Ada ke orang yang baca & menunggu post blog ni?)

*Enough for the introductions*

DOA = Du'a = Prayer = Supplication
Bila ditanya apa itu doa, the most famous saying will be : 
"Doa itu senjata Mukmin" =)
Semua orang tahu doa tu apa kan? But why not we try to see what are the take of Islamic scholars 
(whoa, how I love that word) 
about du'a.
Menurut buku "Du'a = The Weapon of the Believer" by Abu Ammar Yasir Qadhi (no no, don't misunderstand. I don't read this book, I got too much non-fictions in my unread list, putting more in the list is an absolute no-no) :
1.  du’ā is the verbal noun (masdar) of the verb ‘da’ā’ which symbolizes ‘to call out , to summon’ - Ibn Al Mandhūr al Afriqī (death date is unknown)
2. The meaning of du’ā is the servant’s asking his Lord for His Help, and asking his continued support. Its essence is that a person shows his neediness to Allāh, and frees himself from any power or ability to change (any matter by himself). This characteristic is the mark of servitude, and in it is the feeling of human submissivenessDu’ā also carries the meaning of praising Allāh, and attributing to Him Generosity and Bounteousness.” - al Khattabī (d. 386 AH)
3. “Asking what is of benefit to the person, and asking the removal of what is harming him, or (asking) the repelling of it (before it affects him)” - Ibn Qayyim (d. 751 AH)


Maka, doa boleh disimpulkan sebagai :
1. Mainly as a form of worship (penyembahan) as stated in Surah Yunus (10:106)
Dan janganlah engkau (wahai Muhammad) menyembah atau memuja yang lain daripada Allah, yang tidak dapat mendatangkan manfaat kepadamu dan juga tidak dapat mendatangkan mudarat kepadamu. Oleh itu, sekiranya engkau mengerjakan yang demikian, maka pada saat itu menjadilah engkau dari orang-orang yang berlaku zalim terhadap diri sendiri dengan perbuatan syirik itu.

2. The verbal act of the seeking of aid (pertolongan), as a request (permintaan), call (panggilan), praise (pujian), or speech (ucapan), as stated in Surah al-Baqarah (2:186)
Dan apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu tentang Aku, maka (jawablah), bahawasanya Aku adalah dekat. Aku mengabulkan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila ia memohon kepadaKu, maka hendaklah mereka itu memenuhi (segala perintah) Ku dan hendaklah mereka beriman kepadaKu, agar mereka selalu berada dalam kebenaran.

*there are just many, many Quranic verses talking about du'a & supplications. You peeps might encounter better example than mine*

Maka, the Ultimate Question (with no reference to the Hitchhiker's science fiction series) ialah :

Apa kaitan antara Doa dan Matlamat?
Pernahkah kita distinguish doa untuk matlamat jangka pendek, sederhana, dan panjang?
Let me clarify my take on these 3 things (personal opinions only, no bashing on me please, I'm not that deep of a thinker.)
Matlamat jangka pendek : All those things that are going to happen or you expect/want to happen in the near future (exams, wish of (keep) becoming good child and friend, the well being of your family and friends etc)
Matlamat jangka sederhana : (now this is interesting. hehe.) All those things that you expect/want to happen in, let's say 5-10 (may up to your lifespan). You (We) are actually moving towards it, but unconsciously. Pening ke? Ok la, eden bagi contoh : "Nak jadi doktor yang berjaya, isteri yang solehah, ibu yang baik, keamanan negara dan sebagainya."
Matlamat jangka panjang : No question friends, of course it's about our well-being in the HereAfter.

So, what's your take on this issue? (promoter's tone)
Share your (intellectual and amusing) opinions and arguments.
*earnestly hoping for responses* (runs-and-hides)

So long. (bows)
Wassalam wbt
p/s : Syam, post ni end up panjang jugak la... (-_-)"

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

of bunga telur and bally shoes

fuh fuh fuh (tiup sawang-sawang yang bersawang di laman sesawang ini)
assalamualaikum wbt

hi, hello, dobry den, and good day fellas!!!
(kini saya kembali setelah setahun berhibernasi daripada dunia penulisan.. eheh, rase macam self proclaimed celebrity pulak.. =p)

setahun berlalu, apa yang berubah?
banyak...... but let's save them for the next topic, shall we?

so mengapakah setelah setahun menyepi diri, cik diyana memulakan entry baru beliau dengan tajuk kontroversi sebegini?
who remembers the title above? (raise your hand, peeps, if you do)

anyways, for those who remembers, you guys are surely awesome nerds (and that, includes me, coz even after 10 years, i still remember the story)
for those who don't, do not feel sad just because you can't remember, but be glad because you just experiencing the symptoms of normal physiological process, called ageing.. XD

okies, back to the main topic..
well, as now i'm about 21 years 11 months 14 days, i'm about to enter the new era.. era of BIG TWO TWO..
sekarang ni banyak members yang dah kahwin, baru kahwin, plan nak kahwin etc...
no,no peeps.. i don't have any problem at all with all this people with marriage issues..
lagi suka adalah, sebab membina masjid, meramaikan umat nabi...
the only thing that i hate is that the fact that i cannot join the kenduri/celebration.. (melepas makan nasi minyak orang kahwin.. it's been more than 3 years... *cries*)

so what leads me to talk about this marriage thingy?

well, i had this conversation with my friend about marriage: whom to marry, when to marry, preparations yada yada..

this friend of mine ni ade somebody someone yang basically study the same course ngan die, n study kat tempat yang sama ngan die (and don't ask who! korang bukan kenal pun... btw let's call her miss A)

A told me about her and and noticed that i seemed a little bit displeased(?)..
but seriously i'm not being jealous or anything (okay, a little, i admit.. (-_-)"),
but hey, sape x cemburu bile tgk kawan2 dah start proceed to the next stage of life? mesti ade, walaupun sedikit..
but of course, tak lama.. why? because i have friends with me, whom will always be there with me, come hell or high water.. (insert MJ's "i'll be there" here)... okay girls, group hug please, group hug... \(^^)/

long story short, A asked me if anything gonna change between her and people around her if she changes her status from single to marrried. basically she talks about how her friends la..

initially i answered her question, playfully, but as i talk, the discussion gets real..

i told her that if my close friend gets married, something will change for sure..
for an instance (and indeed, i only gave her one example), her world will not only revolves around her family and girlfriends, but her other half too (the Mister Husband).. her centre of attention will be changed...

and i found myself giving a very weird analogy, but it served the purpose well..

"kalo dulu kitorang yang kawan-kawan ko ni jadi matahari kat tengah cakerawala ni.. lepas ko kahwin, kitorang ni jadi planet-planet je.."
and she ROFLed.. (okay, i was exagerrating)..

well peeps, basically this entry has nothing intellectual.. just want to ramble (publicly) after one year abandoning my lovely sanctuary..

to A, be grateful because you are the reason for my re-blogging activity..
insyaAllah, next entry will be more interesting, and informative, and lots of story.. =)

p/s : btw A, kalo kitorang jadi planet-planet pun x apa lagi, janganlah jadikan kitorang ni asteroid atau komet ye.. XD